This morning I made a big list of things to do. One particular thing has been on my to-do list for many months and this morning I finally started it. Was I especially motivated to start it? Quite possibly. But the truthful reason is that there is now something even scarier on the list. So in order to feel a sense of achievement, I went with the lesser of the scaries!
I remember my friend Maggie told me that if you have two toads to eat in the morning, eat the biggest one first. I like this theory, but am not ever intending to eat an actual toad, in case anyone is wondering. Do the hardest thing you have to do in your day first, then everything after that will seem easier, will seem like less work. But doing the hardest thing first, is well, hard.
I did a tree top challenge type thing a few years ago. It wasn’t a massively high one, maybe only ten meters or so off of the ground, but it was terrifying. I clung to every tree, muscled tensed and a cold sweat working its way down my body. I felt sick but was trying to be brave and smiley for my daughter who was experiencing no such trauma and happily trusting the safety line. I got round the course, the relief I felt when hitting the ground and covering my back and legs in mud was a beautiful thing. I was exhausted and aching, all my energy was spent. My daughter massively enjoyed the experience, so a few weeks later, we had another go on the same course. This is the sort of parent I am. This time, however, everything felt different, this experience was fun! I knew what to expect, and my confidence soared. I was jumping from post to post with exhilarated joy. And when the course was done this time, I didn’t feel tired. I felt very much alive.
The exhaustion of worry is a massive thing. Some tasks can feel too big to take on. I sometimes think that I have longer to complete a task, then find a deadline looming. Putting things off is often more stressful than the actual thing itself. But am trying to change that, to be brave.
I will make the phone call tomorrow, first thing.
Map Point. What things could I do right now to make my life easier?