Third letter

Dearest Daughter,

To start with, I only have one daughter, and you are most certainly it. My only offspring. I want to explain every hope and aspiration that I have for you, everything that I think you will be, but this doesn’t serve you, you will make your own path with all the love and support that I can muster (a lot!), so instead I want to tell you about the hopes and aspirations that I have for my own life. It doesn’t matter how old you are, where you are in life, change is always your choice.

When I was around your fine age of eleven, I saw my life the way that everyone else I knew did. We would go through school, go to university, get married, have children and then be ready to ‘make a life’ by twenty-five. In my family, no one apart from me had been to university, but amongst my peers, it felt expected. Some of my friends chose baby names and planned wedding ceremonies. I possibly did this too, but cannot remember any details. As I grew older, and some of my friends became more fixed on that path, I realised that perhaps a path with fewer prerequisites was likely a better one for me to follow.

I then followed a path of education and two long-term relationships. I am still following the path for knowledge (MA application is in process!), but rather than needing a relationship because that’s what I thought I should have, I now see a relationship as a choice to be with someone who I can develop with, and help them to develop too. It feels to be a very different, and more authentic way to be.

Some people find their calling when they are little, others never find one thing, instead, they find many. As a child, I loved photography, drawing and writing, mostly poetry. I also loved playing the guitar. It occurred to me this morning that these have always been my passions, but for many years, I chose to ignore them. I chose to pursue things that seemed practical, that felt like things I should be doing, rather than I wanted to be doing. It has taken me a long time to get back to doing what I love, and it empowers me so much. Whatever you choose to do, do it from a place of love, obligation will not serve you long term, always keep some things in your life that make you shine.

Every dream and aspiration that you have will change over time. Every time you reach a goal, you will see new ways to pursue growth. Never stop learning. Whether this is new information or better ways to understand yourself, this is what has motivated me. Some times will feel dark and there will be incredible times too. Both you can take lessons from; this is how I choose to live my life. Don’t get stuck in a negative place for too long, but learn all you can from it. And utterly relish the highs, these will be your most important memories.

I love you to infinity empion

You are a lifetime of many, many moments






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